Friends in your 20's

Friends. I feel like the word friend means something different at every stage in your life. When you're small, a friend is someone you meet at daycare and play with. Any playmate becomes your best friend. As you grow, you learn that the friends you make are a choice. You don't have to be friends with everyone in your classroom, you can decide who you like and stick with them. In high school, we all seem to gravitate toward each other forming cliques. In your 20's it feels like no one is your friend. 

When I was in high school I had the most amazing friends. We hung out every day, partied together every night and our whole lives revolved around each other. When I graduated and started my "own life" things started to change. I found myself with less friends, and the friends I used to be so close with stopped inviting me places. It boiled down to a few friends I had community college classes with that I spent my time with. As a nineteen year old barista in my home town going to college, my co-workers became my best friends. Being friends with the people you work with is a very long list of pros and cons. They're a blast to work with, it doesn't feel like work it feels like 6 hours of girl talk. But when an issue comes up, it is a downward spiral of the "who wants to make confrontation first" game. I learned a lot from working with my best friends. Knowing so much about others and their individual experiences can give you a lot of perspective. I grew a thick skin while also letting my guard down and becoming more sensitive to how my actions affect the people around me. I will always love my Bada Bean girls. Always.

When I turned 20 I moved out of my hometown and quit my job at Bada. I came to a new city knowing a collective amount of around 7 people. I learned very quickly that it is hard to make friends in a place you haven't grown up in for 20 years. I have met a lot of people since I came here, but I don't spend all of my time with them whenever I get the chance. And I don't talk drama to them about other people. I ask them how they are, our conversations are short and pleasant over coffee or lunch. My definition of friends has shifted yet again. I used to feel a little melancholy about not having a best friend to drive around with me and vent to about this or that or get drunk on a Tuesday with, because that's what I did in high school. That's what I know friends are. I found a massive amount of peace when I came to terms with the fact that those kinds of friends friends are fair weather and they won't stick around. And I do have that best friend I long for in Zach. We vent and get drunk together all the time but it's mostly while we're sitting in our living room with our dogs. My real people are there, my Bada girls are always there even if I don't know it. That person that texts you every once and a while to see how you're doing is the real MVP, because even though they aren't there in your day to day, they are thinking about you and took an effort to tell you about it. 

I'm only 10 months into my 20's, and adulting is hard. The people that used to pretend they cared have let you go entirely and the homesickness is just too real. But I've found that once I can let go and embrace the change that is constantly occurring in my life, I will be much happier. Evaluating and adapting to your situation is what will keep you afloat in life. But so will a kick ass core group of friends and a quick phone call every once and a while. 

My mom is my best friend

Moms are pretty cool. None of us give our moms enough credit, because moms deserve more credit than anyone could ever give. Moms are amazing. There is no better friend than your own mom. 

"Do you need me to call him and talk to him for you?" My mom would say after that darn high school boyfriend cheated on me for the second time. "Should I get ahlold of his mom and let her know what kind of parties this kid is going to?" 

My mom is my absolute best friend. I'm so glad it turned out that way too, cause there are some rough years in every woman's life where she is a preteen and hates her mother. When I was in high school, I went to my mom for everything. She knew everything about my life, where the parties happened, who was dating who, what was going on at school. I never had to sneak out of my bedroom as a kid because all I had to do was tell my mom where I was going and whether or not I was coming home that night or the next morning so she could leave the door unlocked for me. We trust each other. We've seen each other at our best and worst. When my dad had a heart attack I saw my mom crumble in front of me, and I've never seen myself more strong and focused than that week my family spent at the hospital with my Dad. I held my mom together just like she had for me so many times before that, she literally has seen me ugly cry more times than I'm proud of.

I didn't really have a best friend in school growing up. I had certain friends I would spend a lot of time with and I got along with a lot of people, but I always seemed to be the third in every set of friends. It was the two that were closest and me. I think that is one of the reasons why I grew up always kinda feeling out of place, a little uncomfortable and awkward. I got used to spending the afternoon at a friends house then coming home before dinner to hang out with my mom. 

My mom is the best at walking the fine line between being my mom and being my friend. She's my friend when I need to gossip about the latest Twitter beef and she's my mom when I need to cry on a shoulder and get a firm pep talk. At the end of the day she's the only person who knows me better than anyone else every will. We have an unbreakable bond. 

I'm so thankful for my relationship with my mom, and I hope she reads this and cries ;) and I think the key to our strong friendship is our communication. Sometimes the communication between mother and daughter can be the muddiest. When I was growing up, whenever my mother and I would go at it in some crazy screaming match, once we cooled off we would always go back and calmly try to explain why we were frustrated and what we can do next time were upset to avoid a meltdown. We tried to make it all as clear as possible, no mud.  It didn't help overnight, but after a while we both learned a lot about ourselves and how we are as emotional people. Over time we were able to civilly identify each other's flaws and correct them. 

The point of my embarrassing rambling? Love your mom. If you think she doesn't understand you, explain it to her. If you think she is disappointed in you, make it up to her. Hug your mom, cause you are her world and she should be yours too. Be friends with your mom. No one will know you better than her and please don't run away from that, embrace it! I know so much about my personality and my own soul because of the unique relationship I have with my mother. She helped me find myself. So yeah I'm an awkward little blonde girl and my best friend is my mom, so what! Love you mom :)

Nature's best kept secrets

Hello and happy holidays! Winter is coming very quickly and I wanted to share with you some of my favorite things in the whole world to help beat the cold weather blues. 

I love using all natural products in my every day life. Too many of the things we put in our bodies and on our skin has so many damaging chemicals in it that I try to solve all of my health and beauty problems with all natural products. My number one favorite things in all of God's green earth is COCONUT OIL. Pure coconut oil can replace so many products in your bathroom. I personally use it in the shower as a moisturizer. My skin is so crazy soft afterwards. It can also be used as an all natural makeup remover or hair treatment. 

Another product I absolutely love is Frank coffee scrub with coconut oil. It expholiates your skin without being harsh and leaves your skin feeling so baby soft. I have really sensitive skin so I like to expholiate it at least 3 days a week to keep it healthy and soft. 

The second thing I want to mention is wonderful, amazing peppermint oil. I suffer from chronic migraine headaches, and I haven't found a better remedy or treatment than rubbing pure peppermint oil on my temples and behind my ears and taking a long nap. I'm so thankful for peppermint oil. I also use it as a pain reliever for cramps and muscle aches. It's basically like icy-hot but even better. 

We all know the holidays mean stuffing our faces with food of all sorts. The post thanksgiving food baby is so real. Whenever I'm feeling a little bloated I always brew a cup of peppermint tea (peppermint is seriously the best). Drank hot or over ice tastes amazing and works wonders on your waistline. 

These products have saved my life and I love that I can use pure, natrual things to solve so many things in my life! I had to share them with you, because I feel like I'm always telling people about the amazing benefits of them, especially during the winter months! 

Loving our bodies-what it means in our relationships

I know I know, another post about "learning to love our bodies" blah blah....but that second part, "and what it means in our relationships." Ahh, there it is. I'm sure you've read plenty of blogs and articles on everyone's view on body positivity and how to get comfortable with how God made you. I'm not going to try and convince you that you are perfect and amazing, because you should already know that, instead I want to just give you some perspective from your boyfriend's point of view.  At the end of the day your boyfriend is the only person that sees you naked almost as much as you do yourself, so he has thoughts and opinions on how it looks too.

I want to start with some of my experiences. About a year ago I got very into working out, dieting and constantly obsessing over my before pictures and picking out what wasn't perfect about me yet. I worked so hard all summer to try and get an Instagram goals body. I drug myself to the gym every night and counted every calorie I ate. When I started getting results obviously I was always happy to tell my boyfriend that I had lost another pound or rave about what great my abs looks today. As the time went by and the winter season approached, I started to gain some fluff in a few areas of my body from all that holiday eating. I kept working out, but mostly just walked on the treadmill watching New Girl. I felt kinda crappy about losing my amazing body I had in the summer. Then out of no where, Zach can't freaking keep his hands off me! He started giving me so many compliments and commenting on how good my butt looks. I finally told him that I had been feeling really crappy about adding some holiday fluff to me and I didn't understand why he was complimenting me so much more than he was when I was so into losing weight. Turns out that version of me wasn't his favorite, he knew that when I was dieting like crazy I wasn't the happiness version of myself. I never ate onion rings. And I, freaking, LOVE, onion rings. When he wanted to have a fat burger I always got salad. When he's lovin' on me there wasn't as much to grab. At family gatherings rather than eat and be merry I sat and crunched on a carrot. I turned down a date to go to the gym. It took over my entire life. Granted, I was being healthy and active, but I was so obsessed. 

When I stopped feeling guilty for going out for a drink and appetizers with my boyfriend on a Friday night I became a lot happier. When I stopped going to the gym at 11pm to fit it in and just going to sleep instead I was sure a lot more energized at work the next day. Life is all about give and take, yin and yang, the push and the pull. When you go too extreme on one thing, other parts of your life begin to suffer. 

When I did finally start to listen to the comments Zach was saying and believing them I became happier than I think I've ever been. I'm still healthy, I'm still active, but it's a good balance. The people in your life are always going to love you, you just have to learn to love you. I learned that obsessing about what I looked like was not the right way to try to accomplish good health, and it didn't make me love myself it made me very critical of myself. We are all so hard on ourselves to the point where we stop rooting for ourselves and constantly pick apart what we want to change. 

I liked the perspective I gained from trying to understand how Zach thought of my body and mind. He loves me because I am me, and it is important to be healthy, but do it the right way. Everyone is different, and you need to make sure you are ways your happiest self. When I work out I feel good, when I diet and obsess over myself, I'm stressed out. Zach helped me learn the difference. He makes me so happy. 

The 5 Love Languages

It's important to understand your partner and how to communicate efficiently with them. I think that one of the most overlooked aspects in every relationship is they way each partner needs to be loved; in other words, his or her love language. Everyone is different, and therefore we don't all love the same way. 

www.5lovelanguages.com has been a huge resource in my life and my relationship. I've learned so much about how people need to be loved based on what is most important to them. Every person has an emotional communication preference. You either like to receive love in the form of words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.  By simply asking yourself a series of questions on this site, you can get a analysis of which love language you speak. And by having your partner take the same quiz, you can discover which they prefer, and how to speak their love language back to them.

First, I'm going to lay out each love language and explain them using my own words:

-Words of Affirmation: people that prefer this love language need verbal assurance and lots of verbal communication. Just hearing the words "I love you" mean the world and the best way to encourage these people is by compliments and reasons behind your love for them. Kind words are not easily forgotten and harsh words can crush them.

-Acts of Service: for these people, actions speak louder than words. The best way to tell this person you love them is to do something for them. Simply washing the dishes or doing something to take a burden off of them will speak volumes. Laziness is a huge annoyance to these people. Want to make this person's day? Say the words: "let me do that for you."

-Receiving Gifts: this one is hard for a lot of people to understand, but is still just as important as the others. This person really values the thoughtfulness and effort behind a gift. They like to know they are appreciated and cared for by surprises and gifts. Missing a birthday or important event in this person's life is the most hurtful thing you can do. Receiving a gift is a visual representation of how much they are loved.

-Quality Time: this day in age especially, these people feel the most loved when you put your phone down, turn off the TV, and give them 100 percent of your attention. Showing you care by putting all other cares aside to be with them is what's best for them. Distractions and failure to listen are the most hurtful to these people. Sharing quality time sharing thoughts and doing activities make them feel best.

-Physical Touch: this love language isn't all about a sexual aspect. These people feel most loved when they can hold hands, are given thoughtful touches on their arms, shoulder or face. They love best when they feel secure. Expressing your love through hugging and a physical presence is best and being away for long periods of time or abuse can drain them.

So..now let me explain a little more :)

Once you and your partner learn what your love language is, you can then start speaking it to each other. For example, my love language is words of affirmation and Zach's is acts of service. So the best way for me to make him feel like I love him is cleaning the house while he is out at a meeting. I can play off of the way he prefers to be loved and it just amplifies his feelings of being loved. In turn, the best way for him to make me feel loved is to give me an honest, genuine compliment when I come out of the shower in the morning. It makes me feel the most loved from his verbal compliment. This gives you a way to learn each other's strengths and amplify them and play off of them to make each other the happiest.

Everyone is so different, and it is okay if you and your partner speak a different love language. The beautiful thing about this whole theory is that you get to learn how to get the most from your relationship and see your partner flourish from the things that you do for them and the way you show your love to them. If I tried to speak my own love language to Zach and compliment him all the time, he would appreciate it sure..but it wouldn't trigger as something I'm doing to make him feel loved, simply because that isn't his preference. So knowing what to do to speak their love language can be a huge tool to achieve a harmonious and love-filled relationship.

If you have an interest in learning more about this topic, please visit 5lovelanguages.com and take the evaluation. There is also lots of resources to help you in your relationship.
Thanks so much for reading!! xo

Real Talk: don't compare your happiness

Being the one behind the scenes of a musician's life as a significant other is one of the most weird, confusing and tough situations to be in. Living paycheck to paycheck while also trying to jump start a music career is hard. And watching all of our friends get married, buying houses, and having babies doesn't quite help either. We are doing everything different than everyone else it seems. It can be discouraging, working so hard trying to climb the ladder and only getting so far. Truth is musicians have to pay their dues for a long time before you hear them on the radio top 40 countdown.

Having a relationship with a musician is different, even on a small scale. You have to be so hopeful for the future, but also be constantly living in the moment. You have to be supportive, but not pushy. Show them you care while also giving them space. The biggest thing is to simply be understanding and supportive. Money is always tight, stress is usually always on full blast but being open and communicative will help you and your person stay grounded. The one most important thing though, in this situation AND in any other situation is not to compare anything you are doing to something another couple is doing.

I mentioned this in a previous post but I need to point out that the second you start caring what other people are doing, you start criticizing and comparing your life to those of others. Well here's some news for you, YOU are NOT everyone ELSE. You are you and you are GREAT. When it comes to relationships, if you are happy and in love that is all that matters. It doesn't matter if you are living in a tiny apartment surviving paycheck to paycheck, or you "did it backwards" and got pregnant then got married, or you bought a house in your home town rather than moving away to college. Your happiness is YOUR happiness and the most toxic thing that you can do is bring out your insecurities by comparing your life to your neighbor's.

At the end of the day, you have someone that loves you. And at the end of the day, that person is the path you chose. Yes, it gets tough and we all have our hard times. But the thing NOT to do when it gets hard is to get on instagram and stalk that #goals couple you follow then feel crappy about yourself. We aren't all at the same stages in our lives. Even though that girl from your graduating class just got married with a baby on the way, does not mean you have to be doing that as well..and vice versa. It is FUN that we are all different and it's amazing that we all have someone out there that is meant for us. Just because you haven't found that person yet and your best friend did doesn't mean it will be that way forever..because we are all at different stages in our lives and guess what else, God has a wonderful plan for you :)

It sucks that Zach and I are broke and at a hard stage in our lives and in his career. But it just means we have the opportunity to be each other's anchors, and lift each other up out of our stress cluttered minds. We always try and look on the bright side of things. Whenever we have an argument or a tough talk about our stresses, we always sit down at the end and talk about why we are so great and how we can improve. We can't let our situation own us, we have to own our situation and push even harder forward. There is absolutely no reason to compare or be upset because we haven't gotten to where we want to be yet. I'm just gonna enjoy the ride and be patient {on my highway home}.

Thanks for letting me ramble..xo

Hi I'm still here ha..

Hey all! I know I know I haven't been lovin' on my blog too much the past week or so..

Honestly I'm gonna get real with ya I have been so STUCK lately. I don't know if it is because of this smokey weird weather we are having here in Eastern WA or if I've just been in a rut. Either way, I have been feeling a little down and in the dumps, must be the "end of summer blues"? Hmm, anywho I just wanted to make a little post and ask YOU my readers what YOU want to hear from me? Maybe a Q&A or just a general topic you would want me to discuss with you are ANNYTTHINGG!

I'm gonna go out and do some extreme inspiration seeking, if you have any ideas, comments or questions for me, please leave them in the comment section below!!

Also here's a funny picture of me crying at my brother and sister-in-law's married cuteness. That picture makes me so happy!!!

xo.

Must have beauty products!

Mmmmmaaaaaakkkkkkeeeeeuuuuupppppp!!! *insert a million heart eye emojis here

I love makeup, and since moving to a bigger town that has a Sephora AND an Ulta, my addiction has gotten even worse..or better..depends on how ya look at it ;)
I finally feel like my cosmetic bag is on lock, and I wanted to share some of my all time favorite beauty product that will keep you lookin' FAB!

Also FYI, I know I always rave about how wonderful wearing NO makeup is too, and I have my no-makeup days as well, but I also love makeup and I think it is so fun to play around with it! So here we go!
I want to start with mascara. I've tried SO many different kinds of mascara, some cheap drug store brands and some expensive ones. What I have found is the expensive ones are usually worse. I like to layer my mascara, and use a few different kinds. Typically, expensive mascaras aren't meant to be layered, and will get clumpy if layered too much. Any type of Covergirl, Maybelline or Rimmel mascaras should do the trick for ya!






Probably my number one most wonderful product is this lil' baby: Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue cream. This stuff is my saving grace. I have a really uneven skin tone, and this stuff evens it out so amazingly without being too thick and clogging my pores. It's like BB cream 2.0. You want to try and match your skin tone with this product, too light will make you look pale, too dark will turn you orange. It's perfect as a base under foundation or just as a light cover up on lazy days. It is one department store product I cannot live without.

 Next is these 2 major contouring tools. I just recently started using the beauty blender for contouring rather than a cheaper version of the blending pads and let me tell you it is worth it! This thing is going to last you a lot longer and give you an even more gorgeous airbrushed-looking finish.
Once you smear light and dark concealer all over your face like a crazy person (I always feel that way at least), just wet the bb a tad and get to blotting. You'll be looking like a Kardashian in no time.

What you CAN do to keep your cost low though, is go for a drug-store brand of concealer for contouring. Maybelline Fit Me foundation sticks are what I've always used! For my skin tone, I use Porcelain 110 for my highlighter and Toffee Caramel 330 for contour. The good thing about these is they also balance out your skin tone and create a shine-free look to help with a more matte, airbrushed look.

A good bronzer is the perfect secret weapon. When you need a touch up, a good all over bronzer will make you look like new again. I absolutely love Too Faced Endless Summer 16-hour long wear bronzer. It won't make you orange, and it's light but it stays put. I also use it after contouring to help define and polish my look. I also use this to blend all of my makeup down onto my neck and chest to create a natural blended appearance from my face down my neck.

Brows! This is the best damn thing ever and works like the quality of a dept store brand would! I used to use powder and pencils for my brows, and it always took forever and never seemed to come out as well as I hoped. This shit is like mascara for your eyebrows and takes just a few seconds to brush on and perfect. It not only fills in your brows, but also creates that natural, unkept look that is so popular right now.




 L'Oreal Brow Stylist Plumper brow gel mascara.

Last but not least is a simple Burt's Bees lip balm. I rarely wear lipstick, so this creates a nice little shine to polish off my look even without lipstick or lip gloss. It keeps my lips nice and moist, it's all natural and won't dry you out or flake like other lip products. 

 Thanks for reading, and I apologize if I sounded like a total idiot trying to talk about makeup, because I am just now catching up with the rest of the world with makeup tips and tricks. Like, I just started even filling my brows about a year ago. But I feel like people are always asking me what kind of makeup I use. As you know I'm a bargain shopper, I don't believe you have to have a bag full of expensive name brand products to create a beautiful result. Mixing and matching and finding what is right and works for your skin type is the key. xo

Home isn't a place

I feel like I've been all over the place the past two years. I fell in love, and that took me across the state to my new home, but I can never forget where I came from, and how that place makes me feel.
It is really weird when you move away from home, and start to transition into what is your new home. There is a lot more adjusting than I had originally imagined, trying to figure out where your place is and how you fit in. I hate that feeling, I am a pretty awkward person and I hate feeling uncomfortable..(what do I do with my haaands!?) so I always appreciate having my family and close friends around me.

Home is where you fit in and where you are loved and accepted. To me, home can be so many places. It can be where you grew up, moved to, go to college, or even where you work. I've thought a lot lately about "home," and I want my home to be everywhere I go. I want to feel comfortable and accepted and loved everywhere I go. Two of the most amazing people I know made me realize this just the other day. Mark and Haley Ray are my most recent employers back in Port Angeles. Over the time I worked for them they always made me feel at home, and have always embraced me for who I am. I was finishing up at work the other day, and they both came in as well as Zach to check on me. We got to talking and the next thing we knew it was two hours later, we had had a couple drinks, and Zach had been strumming his guitar the whole time. I just love people that are so chill, they make people feel good everywhere they go. They make people feel at home whenever they are around.

I realized this, and it made me aspire to be that way. Everyone loves what home feels like, I want to feel that way all the time, and spread it around.
Finding yourself is one of the most confusing and difficult things in anyone's life, and we are only making it harder for the people around us by judging and having a closed mind. We just have to accept people for who they are, realize their strengths and embrace them. I think making others feel good is one of the best ways to make yourself feel good as well. It's a start at least, ya know positivity is contagious.
It feels good that I know I have a few homes, and a whole lot of family. I have that here in Yakima, back in my hometown, with my co-workers, and I hope to create that in my new workplace (I just had an amazing job interview today, it's looking promising!). It all boils down to loving one another, no mater the circumstances, and you can feel at home everywhere you go, and that feels good.

Religion's roll in relationships

Yikes, I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into bringing up this topic, but it's something I've been thinking about recently and I think I just have to write it out.

*This is an article about my own experiences. I am in no way trying to disrespect anyone or anyone's beliefs, I simply would like to give you my perspective, and how religion has helped grow my relationship in my unique situation. Thanks xo:)

Religion. A scary word to some, and a comforting one to others. I myself have not gone to church my whole life. Growing up, I knew I was a Christian only because most of the people around me said they were Christian. Then when I hit about 14 years old, I really started to explore my curiosity in religion and Christianity. After a few months of following my friends to services and small group meetings with my peers, I learned that church may not be the best place to explore my faith, and my belief in what they were talking about. I kind of gave up on religion, saying that I believed in God, but I didn't go to church. I think I rejected the idea of going to church simply because I didn't understand anything being said or done there. It made me feel uncomfortable, and I wasn't used to it.

It wasn't until I met Zach years later that I started to think about religion again and what it meant to me. I had a bible, I read a lot of it, but I could only take the things written in it at face value; the words just written on the page. When I started dating Zach he made me re-evaluate what I believed love was. He opened my eyes to what a relationship should be, and how it should work. I can say he did the same thing for me in the area of religion. Zach has had a similar experience with religion as I have, but unlike me he is very open about his beliefs and how he feels about God and everything surrounding.

I think one of the main reasons mine and Zach's relationship is so strong is because when we first started dating and doing long distance, we took advantage of our one on one time and had a lot of deep heart to heart talks about anything and everything. One of those talks was about our faith. I felt comfortable enough to open up about my experience in the past. I remember him telling me to read my bible again, and try to think about him, our relationship, and what is happening in life when I do; it will help to try and "translate" the text in a sense, so it is more relatable to me and my life. And that is simply where I started, and when I started to read and discover the advice that the bible can give me, Zach and I began to share our favorite verses with each other and talk about what they mean to us. That helped me so me with my uncomfortableness surrounding the subject.

One thing leads to another, Zach and I have prayed together, read out bibles side by side, and even talked about finding a church to attend on Sundays. One thing led to another, and I've found some peace within myself knowing I have faith and God in my life, and that it can bond me closer with the love of my life. Now, I can open up my bible feeling any kind of emotion and find a verse that makes me feel at ease. It really is a beautiful thing.

If religion or even just beliefs are a touchy subject in your relationship and you want that aspect in your life, my best advice is to be open about it, a lot of times people who don't know a lot about religion are just confused about it, or not sure how to talk about it. When you haven't grown up in a church it can be an uncomfortable subject, but your job is to give never-ending love and understanding in your relationship. Being open and understanding of your sig. other is always the best route to take. Take it slow, and accept your person for who they are. 

Thank you so much for reading, xo  

Real Talk: moving in together

Recently my beloved brother and sister-in-law purchased their first home together and began their new life together as home owners. What an accomplishment! They've lived together before, but celebrating their new home inspired me to write a blog about moving in with your significant other for the first time.

Moving in together as a couple is one of the biggest milestones in a relationship, and it takes a lot of growing and planning until you are finally ready for that step. Zach and planned maybe 9 months ahead when we finally decided to move in together. Not only did we need to figure out our own living situations beforehand, but more so we had a lot of growing and learning to do. 

If I had one big piece of advise to give couples that want to move in together for the first time, I would say take it slow, very slow. Make sure you are going to be able to: 

• Keep your independence: make sure to have a girls' night every once and while. Yes, your man is the most important person in your life but make sure your girls always get the love they had before you moved in with him. You are a hot indepedent woman who don't need no man! But you can have both.
 • Accept his/her probably messy habits and embrace them: everyone gets lazy and doesn't want to take out trash, pick your battles wisely.

• Be okay with him popping with the door open, and peeing with each other in the room. 

• Be ready to not have as much alone time. I think one of the most unexpected issues that arise after that step is the alone time. Whether you're living alone or with roommates beforehand, you usually have s lot of time by yourself. Make sure to have a serious discussion with him/her so you can be open and honest when you need to just take some alone time.

I think a lot of people end up breaking up after moving in together because they rushed into it. It is 100% ok to say you're not ready for it. Living with your boyfriend means knowing exactly what he does at any given time of the day. Before you make the step, spend the weekend or maybe a week together at each of your places so you know exactly what you're hiding from each other (like Zach sleeping with his eyes open in a puddle of drool or me being absolutely obsessed with onions) before you make the choice permanent. It can be hard, and you will argue, but as long as you keep it light, share he workload around the house, and always remind each other how in love you are, you'll be just fine
 :) xo

Late Night Thoughts

I'm up late tonight, and having some random brain buzz. I would just like to share some thoughts with you, along with some more little facts about me. <3

My favorite moments lately are the ones where my loved one and I are lounging on our new  hand-me-down couch (whoop) and I look over at him and he looks back and grabs me and pulls me in.

My favorite time of day is right after the sun goes down, and it's dark but not quite all the way dark yet. And people are like living shadows and a little fuzzy but still there. Dusk. And in the summer it's the perfect temperature. It's enough to wear cutoffs but cool enough to need someone to cuddle up to.

Sometimes ya just gotta let jeep hair be jeep hair and have a good time.

Running through a big open field in the sunshine is one of the best forms of therapy.

There is absolutely no way you can really love another person if you don't love yourself first.

I wish there were puppy cafes where you can go and have your favorite latte and there's puppies running all over to cuddle.

Ha I’ve probably watched the whole How I Met Your Mother series 30 times through and I’m still not tired of it, and I love it.


You think the honeymoon phase of your relationship is the best thing ever, it gets even better.

I absolutely love my boss’ and co-workers like family and yes, it is the best thing ever.

I have a really good feeling that my 20’s are going to be the most bitter-sweet years of my life, and I cannot wait to see what they hold.

Please don’t base your self worth off of a number of likes or favorites.

Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint.

I would love to give getting into the modeling industry a try. I love the technique and art of modeling and photography and I think I'm pretty good in front of a camera, but I'm just terrified of the industry.



That reminds me, go check out samanthamcfarlen.com <3

I am everyone’s worst enemy when I am hangry. Zach just knows to drive me to the nearest Burger King when I start turning into a hangry biotch ha.

Kale rocks.

Always do what makes you happy, no matter what.

I have been so blown away with the support and kind words that have been sent my way about my blog. I really didn’t think anyone would read it, but hearing all the positivity really just makes my whole life and I’m so overjoyed! I am so relieved to be able to not only use this blog as an outlet, but also to improve anyone’s day in any way by the things that I say. So thanks for not judging me, you’re pretty much the best most beautiful person ever. <3<3

Goodnight, xo.

I'm so in love, but I don't want a wedding

Love. Crazy. Emotional. Exciting. Hectic. Happy. WEDDINGS.

I love weddings, when I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding I cried like a baby; my sister-in-law is one of my most favorite people. But weddings are a weird subject for me. I looooove attending weddings. I love to get drunk, celebrate, eat good food and dance with people I love. But whenever I think about the possibility of my own wedding, I'm just really put off. I cannot imagine myself planning a f*cking wedding to begin with, and I am not about to pay someone upteenmillion dollars to plan it for me. The dress is too expensive, the invitations and decorations too tacky, and we can't forget all of the crazy family members trying to micromanage the whole process. Don't get me wrong weddings are wonderful, the bonding of two people's lives into one to live happily ever after in marriage is a beautiful thing to me. But that's all it should be about.

Here's the main reason I'm anti-my-own-wedding. I know you already hate me for dissing them so much in the paragraph above, but just chill I'm getting to it. ;) It's about the vows, which I think are the most important part of any wedding.
Like I mentioned, I do think marriage is so beautiful but when I think about my wedding I imagine it on a beach with my parents and my best friend standing across from me. We will write our own vows and whisper them to each other in secret. The dress is simple, the venue beautiful, and it's private and lovely. Then we'll all go party for three days straight on a tropical island to celebrate.


I just think that if I am going to say very deep emotional vows to my husband, especially ones that I wrote myself, I want only him and God to hear it. The ceremony is the most sacred part of a wedding and that needs to be an intimate moment that isn't in front of everyone we've ever known. Wedding ceremonies are all about those two people coming together as one, it should be all about those two people, it's something they should be selfish about. I've just always been the type of person not to talk about my emotions, I'm not good at saying how I feel. I mean, I barely get emotional in front of Zach, I can't imagine trying to say personal emotional things to him in front of my aunt's second cousin's kids in the third row. Of course you have a reception in town once you're back and let everyone be a part of the celebration, but why not capture it all through photos, have your own moment that is all about you and your marriage, and then invite everyone to party with you back home too?! Receptions and wedding ceremonies don't have to happen on the same day. It's like when people say it's their birthday week instead of just the one day. Just have a wedding week!

This is so important

So I found this on Pinterest. I absolutely love Pinterest, and if you have one, you should follow me cause I pin some cool shit ;)
But anyway I found this on Pinterest and it is so important. I know the image is pretty small so if you're unable to read it here is the link to find it: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/20899585746214023/

I cannot get over how much I love this list of wise words, because it's like being able to predict your future. Everyone's said at least once in their life so far: I wish I could go back and tell myself then what I know now, BUT HERE IT IS! Here is everything you need to know for the future!!! I'm going to let it speak for itself, and I know you were probably expecting a long, meaningful post after my weekend of absence, but I just think this is so amazing. And I've had sort of a weird day so far, which there will be a post about later I promise! For now, enjoy friends :)

How the TjMaxx dressing room taught me to love myself

Yesterday I went into town to do a little shopping before I went to visit home for the weekend. I hadn't washed my hair or put on makeup since I figured I would stay home and do chores all day in preparation of my trip. I threw my hair up, put on some moisturizer, put on a casual outfit and headed out, just to kill some time. I went to all my normal stops, American Eagle, Ulta, and then I ended up at TjMaxx. I personally love TjMaxx. I'm one of those people who wears a certain item of clothing for a limited amount of time before it is either worn out or I get tired of it, so all my life I've been a bargain shopper; why spend a lot of money on something if you're attention span with it is only so long?

Anyway, I picked out a couple things to try on and headed toward the dressing room, which we all know can be a scary place. Not only is there several other women in there trying things on, but dressing rooms are so poorly lit so most of the time you come out with a shirt that you thought was solid white with red stripes when in actuality it's pale yellow with orange stripes.. But to my surprise, when I walked into the dressing room stall I was faced with a vanity lit, full length mirror to look at myself in.
It looked a lot like this: very bright and revealing. I felt like I was standing in front of those huge lights they use for filming.

I found myself just standing there for a few minutes, studying my face and half-naked body. I have never seen myself full bodied in front of a mirror like this and I was surprised...I was pleasantly surprised. I've never been all that comfortable going out with my hair not done or zero makeup on, and I had also skipped the gym for a solid three days in a row so I was kinda lacking in the confidence department. But as I looked in the mirror, so exposed and real, I really liked what I saw. I
 looked so real. Like a woman.

 




*I know my granddad will read this so I'm not posting the half naked selfie..don't worry I'll paint a word picture.

I could see clearly my uneven skin tone all over my body that resulted from a skin condition that causes extremely dry skin patches that don't tan with the rest of my body. I could see clearly every mole on my belly and the way it pooched out a little because of my happy relationship and wholesome meals. I could see my shorts tan line and my short legs that have thickened from squats at the gym. I'm short, with a fairly short torso as well, so I don't look a whole lot like a runway model. My eyebrows weren't filled in, my lips naked and a bit chapped, not a drop of makeup on my skin, freckles littered my face. My dirty, naturally auburn hair was peeking through the bleach on top. I stood there and stared and admired it all. I could see every mole, flab, pooch, blemish and uneven skin patch on my body and I still felt more confident than I had all week..
I came out of the store feeling more confident than when I went in, and a lot of women know this a lot of times isn't the case. But I didn't feel discouraged at all, I felt empowered.

This is the direct result of positive body image marketing strategies. I'm sure you've heard of the bra and panty line Aerie? Aerie is the lingerie branch of American Eagle and their whole angle for marketing is not photoshopping their models in their advertisements while also choosing models that look like, I don't know, normal people(?). Meaning they use real, non-retouched women of all shapes and sizes to model their products, not just tall, long legged, thin women that have been digitally nipped and tucked to look even more unrealistic. When you want to order a size DD bra, you will actually see a woman that wears a DD modeling it. None of them are wearing too much makeup and their hair is natural.

Here is an example of one of Aerie's ads:

HOW GORGEOUS IS SHE?!

This ad positively affected me today. I am extremely critical of myself, as a lot of us are. But today I felt great trying clothes on, I thought, "wow I look like the girls in the Aerie ads." This marketing works, and if Aerie is trying to spread self-love and postitive body image, they are doing the right thing, because it's f*cking working. More women look like the girl above than a six foot stick-thin model, and that's totally okay. In this way, Aerie is appealing to a bigger demographic and eliminating the disappointment of getting the lingerie home and not looking exactly like the girl wearing it in the photo; which we as women have been conditioned through media to crave that body type so badly because it represents the perfect woman. Well guess what, you are already perfect it's just about time we all start realizing how perfect we are. Like I have said before, everyone is different and THAT IS OKAY. And everyone is beautiful, sexy, and 100% worth loving themselves. It really is tough to get to a point where you are happy with yourself in all aspects, thank you Aerie for helping me get to that point.

bloglovin.com is going to change my life.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin!!!

One of my new friends in the blogger community opened my eyes to bloglovin.com...let's just say this is what I will be doing for the rest of the day into the night and so on. It's like Pinterest for bloggers! So give me a follow :) and also if you're on Pinterest, follow me there as well, I just started a board for my blog!

When I Stopped Caring

This day in age, social media controls our lives. And if you were born after about 1990, social media controls your every move. Us millennials are constantly thinking about our snapchat stories, how many instagram likes we have, and what our friends are hashtagging on twitter; moments of complete silence and clarity are hard to come by without a cell phone interrupting the moment. We miss the best parts of the sunset because we were too busy choosing the best filter to put on it before posting.

Also I added some Pinterest inspiration for you :)


Think about what that shit does to you. I mean, I find myself sitting on the couch while Zach is trying to, oh I don't know, have a MEANINGFUL conversation with me but I'm too engrossed in clicking through someone's 100 second snap story from that party I wasn't invited to last night. Or I sit at the dinner table and miss romantic moments of us time because I'm posting a selfie..

This social media obsession does 2 awful things to us: we lose precious moments of our lives that we will never EVER get back, and we care so much about what others are doing and letting THEM know what WE are doing that we get this strange complex about posting EVERYTHING we're doing. And if we miss a perfectly gram-able picture, it literally ruins our day. We are self-obsessed, while also being completely engulfed in what other people are doing, making sure we are having a better time than them. "Oh gosh, Whitney just posted a photo of her at a 4th of July BBQ, I should probably post a snapchat story of us at Billy's party hammered so she knows we are having fun too, AND getting drunk..WOOOOO!" I honestly think that's how some people's minds operate..

Let me be the one to tell you, I made a personal SWEEPING DECLARATION (How I Met Your Mother reference there for the other nerds) not too long ago. I decided I would simply shut my brain off to those tendencies that have been conditioned into my mind since I got my first MySpace account. I just need to quit caring so damn much about what everyone else is doing because it's only making me feel even worse about my own life. "Oh shit, Kelley got a new job at a law office, I work as a barista..my life f*ckin sucks.." NO GIRLFRIEND, your life does NOT suck, you're just at a different point in your life, and THAT IS OKAY. No wonder people like Kim Kardashian are as famous as they are, her life is f*cking great. She blasts her life all over social media, and we 20-somethings EAT IT UP cause we want that life too. WE JUST WANT TO BE FABULOUS LIKE KIMMYYYYYYY. And we CAN be fabulous, we just have to do it in our own way because that's the ONLY way we will be happy with our lives, and comfortable in the skin we're in. NO WONDER WE HAVE BODY COMPLEXES, we just want to be like the sexy chicks on the Triangl bikinis instagram. Girls, it's about time we cut it out, and come to terms with what our own lives are before we try to replicate someone else's. And let's discover who we are as people, before we feel bad about who we are because stupid Whitney is getting hammed at Billy's party and we weren't invited. You cannot be anyone but yourself, and this obsession we have with other people's lives and seeing what everyone you went to high school with is up to at every given moment is not helping anyone discover their inner selves. Quitting with this crazy need to post everything at all seconds of the day has made me a happier person and has helped me on this road to discovering myself.

Alright crazy rant is over.

I'm just trying to make a point here. The constant communication we have with the world really is a great and powerful thing. We can check traffic and weather updates at the touch of a bottom and stay connected with a dear friend who moved away through a screen. That is pretty cool. But life is about balance, and overexposing yourself to one anything can start doing more bad than good. A lot of us wouldn't be where we are without social media and this digital age we are in, but keep a healthy balance. And it's alright if you'd rather stay in on a Friday night reading Fifty Shades of Gray instead of getting boozey at a club. And it's also totally cool if you spend your weekends partying cause you're a social butterfly. We are all different, living different lives and THAT IS OKAY.

A Night in Leavenworth

If you've ever been to Leavenworth, Washington, I don't even have to explain to you how absolutely magical it is. If you haven't been there, Leavenworth is a cute little Bavarian town over here in Eastern WA. It's got the cutest little town square where accordion players sing old time German themed songs and tourists browse various kinds of shops and sip on German beer. It gets comfortably hot in the summer and snowy in the winter and everything about Leavenworth is picturesque. When I found out Zach had a show at a sweet little place called King Ludwig's in Leavenworth I was so excited! Plus, he was going to be opening for country star James Otto. So yesterday we packed up our Ford truck and hit the highway towards paradise.

When we arrived, we were greeted with beer and good company. Not only was everyone who worked at the establishment the most kindhearted, generous people I've met in a while, Zach's manager had set up a pretty cool stage for him to preform on. I broke out our little Canon Rebel to get some shots of the show, since I am usually the one on photo duty during gigs.

Show days are a little weird for me. Zach is my boyfriend, and to me he will always just be a man I'm in love with. On a normal day, we are goofy and chill and lovin' all over each other. But on show days, we are different people. Zach's got a lot of pressure on him. Not only does he need to put on a good show but he also has to make sure he's got what he needs, listen and learn from his manager, and talk to fans after the show. There are a lot of eyes on him and a lot of thoughts zooming through his mind all at once. So when show days arrive, I've learned to sit back and take cues from him as to what he needs my help with. Usually, I'm simply a shoulder to lean on, a sense of support on the most extreme level. I'm his love, that's how he'll always see me and that's exactly what he needs me to be for him in the middle of the chaos that is a gig. I'm a constant. And then if I can carry a suitcase or snap some photos in the meantime, that helps too.

After the show was over and the guests cleared out, I was glad that Zach had the chance to sit and chat with James Otto for a while. Not only did he give some good advice, we also got to snack on some amazing German food from King Ludwig's that was out of this world (expect a lot of food talk in my blog, I've been eatin' like my 6 foot 3 boyfriend for two solid years now..and I love food). James is a great guy, and the he gave Zach some of the best advice I've heard: to make friends that do what you do, keep those friends close, learn from them and work with them and you'll never be unsuccessful.

I'm so glad we went to Leavenworth for a gig because we did meet a few purely good people that if we went back again, would do anything for us. We had a great time and Zach totally killed it. I really didn't want to leave beautiful Leavenworth this morning, but Zach has another gig today, so we took the highway home to our next adventure.

-B

Why long distance relationships are the best relationships

The first two years of my relationship with Zach Hinson was long distance. We initially came in contact on Twitter and began texting back and forth. I was in the middle of a giant party phase following my high school graduation, none of my crappy boyfriends so far looked like they would lead to marrying my high school sweetheart, so everything was light and fun between him and I in our text messages. I didn't want a summer fling, and if I couldn't find a man who took care of me like I deserved to be taken care of, I didn't want a boyfriend at all. We were both planning on going to a weekend long country music festival called Watershed in Eastern WA at a place called The Gorge Amphitheater (most beautiful venue I've been to so far in my life too by the way, totally blew me away) so we decided we should meet up and hang out in person.

So August rolled around and I ended up hitching a ride to Watershed with a few friends, and when Zach finally arrived at the campground, I ditched them to go find him. When I saw that boy walking toward me among all the drunk festival-goers, I knew he wasn't going to be a temporary person in my life. I've never felt like that before, nor have I again, so this is special. We had a blast of a weekend and when it came time to part ways and go back to our sides of the state, we agreed not to be anything more than friends which was a reality both of us had to come to terms with, since we lived on opposite sides of Washington from each other.

The texting continued all the way until October when, believe it or not we were planning on going to ANOTHER music festival in Seattle at the same time. Of course, it's always a good time when we are together, so when this trip wound down to an end we decided to send it off with a ride on the Seattle ferris wheel that sits right by the water next to the ferry boat that we would soon become every familiar with. Not only did that boy kiss me like he meant it on top of that ferris wheel, he also gave me what I didn't know I even wanted, he told me he was in love with me. We left each other that day in silent agreement that we couldn't go the rest of our lives without each other, even if it meant getting to know each other through text message, phone calls and occasional facetime conversations.

Eventually our long distance ended, and we are together and so solid today BECAUSE of that distance. And that leads me to my first point:

• Eventually, the long distance WILL END!  Nothing lasts forever, and everything has its ups and downs, so if you can just stick it out the day will come where you can finally say "we did it" and look back on it. 

•  You have more growing to do than you think. Whether you are young like me or not, when you first get into a relationship you have to grow into it. You have to figure out who you are with that person. I'm not saying you change who you are when you're in a couple, but there is shifting and learning and growing that needs to happen so that the two of you can efficiently communicate and get along. You go from being 100 percent on your own to a half of another person and that's hard to transition from. For me, I needed that extra space to figure out who "relationship" Bradi was rather than "on my own doin' me" Bradi.

•  It's easier to back out and cause less damage. This sounds harsh, but it's true. When you spend less face to face time with someone, you have less memories to get over if it doesn't work out. Rather than having to give all their stuff back to them in a box, you just delete some dick pics and text messages and move on with your independent af life. Viola!  

• Time spent together is cherished. When you finally do get to see them after so long apart, that time is so valuable that you spend it doing really exciting things! It gives either of you time to plan and save for a big extravagant date or surprise. And nothing is ever boring. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for pizza and netflix in your underwear later down the line when you're finally together so take advantage of the time you get to spend together doing something awesome that will just create memories to look back on later when you're at home on a Friday watching How I Met Your Mother re-runs cause you don't get paid till Monday. 

• You fight less. This goes hand in hand with cherishing your time together. Since you never see each other, it's very unlikely that you'll have a lot to fight about. Yes, long distance in itself can cause arguments; he doesn't call you back one night and then the next morning you find out he went to a honkey tonk with his guys or whatever. But really are you gonna stay mad at him because of something little when the next thing you know he's sending you flowers? Didn't think so. And that will lead me into...
   
• You both try harder. Believe it or not, but he's wondering what you're up to just as much as you are, and when there's a little bit of innocent mystery about you that he wants to know about, he's going to try and figure it out and vice versa. I knowwww girls have this horrid rep of texting too much or being too needy, but when you can both seperate yourselves from that stereotype, you will both try a little harder to get the others attention or "win them over." I got more flowers while we were doing long distance than I have while we've been living together.

• You get to know each other mentally rather than physically. This is a big one, especially at this point in society where more people are having more sex (which I think is a great thing, you go you sexy lil thangs). Yes, sex and intimacy are lovely things, but basing your feelings mostly from your physical attraction to someone can make you fall in lust with someone, not love. Trust me, we've all seen that romantic comedy where the sex is mind blowing but the couple can't f*cking stand each other every other hour of the day. In reality, sex is just a part of a relationship, not the whole thing, so you need to know whether or not this person is going to vibe with you and have things in common with them before you decide to move in together and end up ripping each others heads off.

No relationship is perfect, and after the short honeymoon period with your new significant other is over, you'll find that out. Long distance is almost like dipping your foot in before you do a cannonball into the pool.  It's always better to slow down and critically think about the relationship you're about to get in to first, rather than look back and regret not realizing that he hates One Direction when you just got done following them on tour.
I owe everything good in my relationship to the hardships of long distance and what it taught both Zach and me. It's hard to realize the benefits to your situation while you're in it, but when you look back later you'll be glad you did it, worked through it and came out on the other side. It's worth it.

So. F*cking. Worth it.

-B

My First Blog Post About Writing My First Blog

So here I am, sitting in my living room writing my very first blog post..ever. That's a lot of pressure. What's my tone gonna be like? What am I gonna write about? What can YOU as a reader expect from this random woman on the internet..? Let me just organize my thoughts for you. Or try at least.
First, I would like to get straight that I usually don't think a whole lot before I speak, and how I write is very similar to the way I talk, so don't expect a filter..sorry mom.
I got this whole blog idea from my sister-in-law, who is someone I would say I'm closest with in my life. She thought I could share my life as a up-and-coming-musician's-girlfriend, which I personally don't think is too exciting but hey, you're your own worst critic..(?) (Does that saying even work here..?) Honestly I have NO idea what I'm doing when it comes to think cyberspace world of blogs (blogoshpere?), so get ready for a fun, unpredictable roller coaster ride that may become my blog..ha.

In all seriousness, I do hope you enjoy my site. As a 20something woman this day in age trying to find her way, while also trying to help the love of her life find his way, I have a lot of thoughts throughout my day. I would love to share my thoughts with you, maybe somewhere in my brain is something that relates to something in your brain! This blog is just simply my mind, written down. And through my experiences in a 2 year long, long distance relationship, quitting college, moving away from home only to start then quit my first big girl job within a month, and navigating through the life of a girl watching her boyfriend live in the limelight from backstage, I've ended up with a lot of life experience in a VERY short amount of time, and it's been tough, and a little weird. I met this smokin' hot cowboy at a music festival 8 hours from home, fell in love and moved across the state to be with him two years later. I got a job managing a bar and grill at the age of 20 and stood back and watched as that burned down into oblivion. Now here I am unemployed writing a blog (so cliche I know..ha) and somehow when I look over at that goofy face that I love so much, I feel like runnin' all over the country from gig to gig is exactly what I should be doing. HELL WHY NOT.

And there's something about my life and my relationship that is so beautiful to me, nothing ever stays the same, and if it does, you're doing something wrong. You never know what kind of surprises are waiting for you. I like that, I feel like my whole life up to this point has been expected, and stagnant. It makes me feel like my life isn't all planned out for me the moment I'm born, like I really do have a say in what my future holds, and I can always change it if I want. And when it all goes up in flames, I only have myself to blame. Nothing is mapped out for me. I have no idea if what I'm doing is right or wrong. But I'm starting to think living your life make right choice after right choice probably isn't a life that teaches you anything, or is even fun to any extent. I've learned nothing is right or wrong. And I'm not trying to sound like your tenth grade music teacher trying to get the class to participate by saying there is no right or wrong answer..I'm serious. The choices we make every day create what will soon become our future, which turns into our past before we know it. Sometimes making mistakes takes you to a place in your life that is better in the long run. Not all mistakes turn into regrets. And what you think may be the right thing at the start can become your biggest regret in the end. The best thing you can do, is trust your heart and follow it. My life right now is a 180 flip from what it was 6 months ago simply because I stopped following what my head said and started acting on what my heart was telling me. Yes, it is easier to do what everyone else is doing. To do things logically and safely and go to school, get a job, get married, have a family in the suburbs and wonder what it would be like to be doing something different. Or you could just DO something different. Make your whole life fun and do what you love. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks because it is your happiness. What you love may not be the same as what everyone around you loves, but that's what makes life interesting; and they'll be really taken aback when you flip em the bird after they try and tell you you're livin' your life wrong. Throw it all away and see what happens if you take a different path. It may be hard, but I've been happier since I did it. I'm constantly coming to roadblocks and having to survive through them, but I guess I kind of like the risk of it all.

I've always wished that there was a guide book to being the girlfriend of the country star, maybe it's about time I just write it myself.