I'm so in love, but I don't want a wedding

Love. Crazy. Emotional. Exciting. Hectic. Happy. WEDDINGS.

I love weddings, when I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding I cried like a baby; my sister-in-law is one of my most favorite people. But weddings are a weird subject for me. I looooove attending weddings. I love to get drunk, celebrate, eat good food and dance with people I love. But whenever I think about the possibility of my own wedding, I'm just really put off. I cannot imagine myself planning a f*cking wedding to begin with, and I am not about to pay someone upteenmillion dollars to plan it for me. The dress is too expensive, the invitations and decorations too tacky, and we can't forget all of the crazy family members trying to micromanage the whole process. Don't get me wrong weddings are wonderful, the bonding of two people's lives into one to live happily ever after in marriage is a beautiful thing to me. But that's all it should be about.

Here's the main reason I'm anti-my-own-wedding. I know you already hate me for dissing them so much in the paragraph above, but just chill I'm getting to it. ;) It's about the vows, which I think are the most important part of any wedding.
Like I mentioned, I do think marriage is so beautiful but when I think about my wedding I imagine it on a beach with my parents and my best friend standing across from me. We will write our own vows and whisper them to each other in secret. The dress is simple, the venue beautiful, and it's private and lovely. Then we'll all go party for three days straight on a tropical island to celebrate.


I just think that if I am going to say very deep emotional vows to my husband, especially ones that I wrote myself, I want only him and God to hear it. The ceremony is the most sacred part of a wedding and that needs to be an intimate moment that isn't in front of everyone we've ever known. Wedding ceremonies are all about those two people coming together as one, it should be all about those two people, it's something they should be selfish about. I've just always been the type of person not to talk about my emotions, I'm not good at saying how I feel. I mean, I barely get emotional in front of Zach, I can't imagine trying to say personal emotional things to him in front of my aunt's second cousin's kids in the third row. Of course you have a reception in town once you're back and let everyone be a part of the celebration, but why not capture it all through photos, have your own moment that is all about you and your marriage, and then invite everyone to party with you back home too?! Receptions and wedding ceremonies don't have to happen on the same day. It's like when people say it's their birthday week instead of just the one day. Just have a wedding week!