Loving our bodies-what it means in our relationships

I know I know, another post about "learning to love our bodies" blah blah....but that second part, "and what it means in our relationships." Ahh, there it is. I'm sure you've read plenty of blogs and articles on everyone's view on body positivity and how to get comfortable with how God made you. I'm not going to try and convince you that you are perfect and amazing, because you should already know that, instead I want to just give you some perspective from your boyfriend's point of view.  At the end of the day your boyfriend is the only person that sees you naked almost as much as you do yourself, so he has thoughts and opinions on how it looks too.

I want to start with some of my experiences. About a year ago I got very into working out, dieting and constantly obsessing over my before pictures and picking out what wasn't perfect about me yet. I worked so hard all summer to try and get an Instagram goals body. I drug myself to the gym every night and counted every calorie I ate. When I started getting results obviously I was always happy to tell my boyfriend that I had lost another pound or rave about what great my abs looks today. As the time went by and the winter season approached, I started to gain some fluff in a few areas of my body from all that holiday eating. I kept working out, but mostly just walked on the treadmill watching New Girl. I felt kinda crappy about losing my amazing body I had in the summer. Then out of no where, Zach can't freaking keep his hands off me! He started giving me so many compliments and commenting on how good my butt looks. I finally told him that I had been feeling really crappy about adding some holiday fluff to me and I didn't understand why he was complimenting me so much more than he was when I was so into losing weight. Turns out that version of me wasn't his favorite, he knew that when I was dieting like crazy I wasn't the happiness version of myself. I never ate onion rings. And I, freaking, LOVE, onion rings. When he wanted to have a fat burger I always got salad. When he's lovin' on me there wasn't as much to grab. At family gatherings rather than eat and be merry I sat and crunched on a carrot. I turned down a date to go to the gym. It took over my entire life. Granted, I was being healthy and active, but I was so obsessed. 

When I stopped feeling guilty for going out for a drink and appetizers with my boyfriend on a Friday night I became a lot happier. When I stopped going to the gym at 11pm to fit it in and just going to sleep instead I was sure a lot more energized at work the next day. Life is all about give and take, yin and yang, the push and the pull. When you go too extreme on one thing, other parts of your life begin to suffer. 

When I did finally start to listen to the comments Zach was saying and believing them I became happier than I think I've ever been. I'm still healthy, I'm still active, but it's a good balance. The people in your life are always going to love you, you just have to learn to love you. I learned that obsessing about what I looked like was not the right way to try to accomplish good health, and it didn't make me love myself it made me very critical of myself. We are all so hard on ourselves to the point where we stop rooting for ourselves and constantly pick apart what we want to change. 

I liked the perspective I gained from trying to understand how Zach thought of my body and mind. He loves me because I am me, and it is important to be healthy, but do it the right way. Everyone is different, and you need to make sure you are ways your happiest self. When I work out I feel good, when I diet and obsess over myself, I'm stressed out. Zach helped me learn the difference. He makes me so happy.