The 5 Love Languages

It's important to understand your partner and how to communicate efficiently with them. I think that one of the most overlooked aspects in every relationship is they way each partner needs to be loved; in other words, his or her love language. Everyone is different, and therefore we don't all love the same way. 

www.5lovelanguages.com has been a huge resource in my life and my relationship. I've learned so much about how people need to be loved based on what is most important to them. Every person has an emotional communication preference. You either like to receive love in the form of words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.  By simply asking yourself a series of questions on this site, you can get a analysis of which love language you speak. And by having your partner take the same quiz, you can discover which they prefer, and how to speak their love language back to them.

First, I'm going to lay out each love language and explain them using my own words:

-Words of Affirmation: people that prefer this love language need verbal assurance and lots of verbal communication. Just hearing the words "I love you" mean the world and the best way to encourage these people is by compliments and reasons behind your love for them. Kind words are not easily forgotten and harsh words can crush them.

-Acts of Service: for these people, actions speak louder than words. The best way to tell this person you love them is to do something for them. Simply washing the dishes or doing something to take a burden off of them will speak volumes. Laziness is a huge annoyance to these people. Want to make this person's day? Say the words: "let me do that for you."

-Receiving Gifts: this one is hard for a lot of people to understand, but is still just as important as the others. This person really values the thoughtfulness and effort behind a gift. They like to know they are appreciated and cared for by surprises and gifts. Missing a birthday or important event in this person's life is the most hurtful thing you can do. Receiving a gift is a visual representation of how much they are loved.

-Quality Time: this day in age especially, these people feel the most loved when you put your phone down, turn off the TV, and give them 100 percent of your attention. Showing you care by putting all other cares aside to be with them is what's best for them. Distractions and failure to listen are the most hurtful to these people. Sharing quality time sharing thoughts and doing activities make them feel best.

-Physical Touch: this love language isn't all about a sexual aspect. These people feel most loved when they can hold hands, are given thoughtful touches on their arms, shoulder or face. They love best when they feel secure. Expressing your love through hugging and a physical presence is best and being away for long periods of time or abuse can drain them.

So..now let me explain a little more :)

Once you and your partner learn what your love language is, you can then start speaking it to each other. For example, my love language is words of affirmation and Zach's is acts of service. So the best way for me to make him feel like I love him is cleaning the house while he is out at a meeting. I can play off of the way he prefers to be loved and it just amplifies his feelings of being loved. In turn, the best way for him to make me feel loved is to give me an honest, genuine compliment when I come out of the shower in the morning. It makes me feel the most loved from his verbal compliment. This gives you a way to learn each other's strengths and amplify them and play off of them to make each other the happiest.

Everyone is so different, and it is okay if you and your partner speak a different love language. The beautiful thing about this whole theory is that you get to learn how to get the most from your relationship and see your partner flourish from the things that you do for them and the way you show your love to them. If I tried to speak my own love language to Zach and compliment him all the time, he would appreciate it sure..but it wouldn't trigger as something I'm doing to make him feel loved, simply because that isn't his preference. So knowing what to do to speak their love language can be a huge tool to achieve a harmonious and love-filled relationship.

If you have an interest in learning more about this topic, please visit 5lovelanguages.com and take the evaluation. There is also lots of resources to help you in your relationship.
Thanks so much for reading!! xo

Real Talk: don't compare your happiness

Being the one behind the scenes of a musician's life as a significant other is one of the most weird, confusing and tough situations to be in. Living paycheck to paycheck while also trying to jump start a music career is hard. And watching all of our friends get married, buying houses, and having babies doesn't quite help either. We are doing everything different than everyone else it seems. It can be discouraging, working so hard trying to climb the ladder and only getting so far. Truth is musicians have to pay their dues for a long time before you hear them on the radio top 40 countdown.

Having a relationship with a musician is different, even on a small scale. You have to be so hopeful for the future, but also be constantly living in the moment. You have to be supportive, but not pushy. Show them you care while also giving them space. The biggest thing is to simply be understanding and supportive. Money is always tight, stress is usually always on full blast but being open and communicative will help you and your person stay grounded. The one most important thing though, in this situation AND in any other situation is not to compare anything you are doing to something another couple is doing.

I mentioned this in a previous post but I need to point out that the second you start caring what other people are doing, you start criticizing and comparing your life to those of others. Well here's some news for you, YOU are NOT everyone ELSE. You are you and you are GREAT. When it comes to relationships, if you are happy and in love that is all that matters. It doesn't matter if you are living in a tiny apartment surviving paycheck to paycheck, or you "did it backwards" and got pregnant then got married, or you bought a house in your home town rather than moving away to college. Your happiness is YOUR happiness and the most toxic thing that you can do is bring out your insecurities by comparing your life to your neighbor's.

At the end of the day, you have someone that loves you. And at the end of the day, that person is the path you chose. Yes, it gets tough and we all have our hard times. But the thing NOT to do when it gets hard is to get on instagram and stalk that #goals couple you follow then feel crappy about yourself. We aren't all at the same stages in our lives. Even though that girl from your graduating class just got married with a baby on the way, does not mean you have to be doing that as well..and vice versa. It is FUN that we are all different and it's amazing that we all have someone out there that is meant for us. Just because you haven't found that person yet and your best friend did doesn't mean it will be that way forever..because we are all at different stages in our lives and guess what else, God has a wonderful plan for you :)

It sucks that Zach and I are broke and at a hard stage in our lives and in his career. But it just means we have the opportunity to be each other's anchors, and lift each other up out of our stress cluttered minds. We always try and look on the bright side of things. Whenever we have an argument or a tough talk about our stresses, we always sit down at the end and talk about why we are so great and how we can improve. We can't let our situation own us, we have to own our situation and push even harder forward. There is absolutely no reason to compare or be upset because we haven't gotten to where we want to be yet. I'm just gonna enjoy the ride and be patient {on my highway home}.

Thanks for letting me ramble..xo

Hi I'm still here ha..

Hey all! I know I know I haven't been lovin' on my blog too much the past week or so..

Honestly I'm gonna get real with ya I have been so STUCK lately. I don't know if it is because of this smokey weird weather we are having here in Eastern WA or if I've just been in a rut. Either way, I have been feeling a little down and in the dumps, must be the "end of summer blues"? Hmm, anywho I just wanted to make a little post and ask YOU my readers what YOU want to hear from me? Maybe a Q&A or just a general topic you would want me to discuss with you are ANNYTTHINGG!

I'm gonna go out and do some extreme inspiration seeking, if you have any ideas, comments or questions for me, please leave them in the comment section below!!

Also here's a funny picture of me crying at my brother and sister-in-law's married cuteness. That picture makes me so happy!!!

xo.

Must have beauty products!

Mmmmmaaaaaakkkkkkeeeeeuuuuupppppp!!! *insert a million heart eye emojis here

I love makeup, and since moving to a bigger town that has a Sephora AND an Ulta, my addiction has gotten even worse..or better..depends on how ya look at it ;)
I finally feel like my cosmetic bag is on lock, and I wanted to share some of my all time favorite beauty product that will keep you lookin' FAB!

Also FYI, I know I always rave about how wonderful wearing NO makeup is too, and I have my no-makeup days as well, but I also love makeup and I think it is so fun to play around with it! So here we go!
I want to start with mascara. I've tried SO many different kinds of mascara, some cheap drug store brands and some expensive ones. What I have found is the expensive ones are usually worse. I like to layer my mascara, and use a few different kinds. Typically, expensive mascaras aren't meant to be layered, and will get clumpy if layered too much. Any type of Covergirl, Maybelline or Rimmel mascaras should do the trick for ya!






Probably my number one most wonderful product is this lil' baby: Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue cream. This stuff is my saving grace. I have a really uneven skin tone, and this stuff evens it out so amazingly without being too thick and clogging my pores. It's like BB cream 2.0. You want to try and match your skin tone with this product, too light will make you look pale, too dark will turn you orange. It's perfect as a base under foundation or just as a light cover up on lazy days. It is one department store product I cannot live without.

 Next is these 2 major contouring tools. I just recently started using the beauty blender for contouring rather than a cheaper version of the blending pads and let me tell you it is worth it! This thing is going to last you a lot longer and give you an even more gorgeous airbrushed-looking finish.
Once you smear light and dark concealer all over your face like a crazy person (I always feel that way at least), just wet the bb a tad and get to blotting. You'll be looking like a Kardashian in no time.

What you CAN do to keep your cost low though, is go for a drug-store brand of concealer for contouring. Maybelline Fit Me foundation sticks are what I've always used! For my skin tone, I use Porcelain 110 for my highlighter and Toffee Caramel 330 for contour. The good thing about these is they also balance out your skin tone and create a shine-free look to help with a more matte, airbrushed look.

A good bronzer is the perfect secret weapon. When you need a touch up, a good all over bronzer will make you look like new again. I absolutely love Too Faced Endless Summer 16-hour long wear bronzer. It won't make you orange, and it's light but it stays put. I also use it after contouring to help define and polish my look. I also use this to blend all of my makeup down onto my neck and chest to create a natural blended appearance from my face down my neck.

Brows! This is the best damn thing ever and works like the quality of a dept store brand would! I used to use powder and pencils for my brows, and it always took forever and never seemed to come out as well as I hoped. This shit is like mascara for your eyebrows and takes just a few seconds to brush on and perfect. It not only fills in your brows, but also creates that natural, unkept look that is so popular right now.




 L'Oreal Brow Stylist Plumper brow gel mascara.

Last but not least is a simple Burt's Bees lip balm. I rarely wear lipstick, so this creates a nice little shine to polish off my look even without lipstick or lip gloss. It keeps my lips nice and moist, it's all natural and won't dry you out or flake like other lip products. 

 Thanks for reading, and I apologize if I sounded like a total idiot trying to talk about makeup, because I am just now catching up with the rest of the world with makeup tips and tricks. Like, I just started even filling my brows about a year ago. But I feel like people are always asking me what kind of makeup I use. As you know I'm a bargain shopper, I don't believe you have to have a bag full of expensive name brand products to create a beautiful result. Mixing and matching and finding what is right and works for your skin type is the key. xo

Home isn't a place

I feel like I've been all over the place the past two years. I fell in love, and that took me across the state to my new home, but I can never forget where I came from, and how that place makes me feel.
It is really weird when you move away from home, and start to transition into what is your new home. There is a lot more adjusting than I had originally imagined, trying to figure out where your place is and how you fit in. I hate that feeling, I am a pretty awkward person and I hate feeling uncomfortable..(what do I do with my haaands!?) so I always appreciate having my family and close friends around me.

Home is where you fit in and where you are loved and accepted. To me, home can be so many places. It can be where you grew up, moved to, go to college, or even where you work. I've thought a lot lately about "home," and I want my home to be everywhere I go. I want to feel comfortable and accepted and loved everywhere I go. Two of the most amazing people I know made me realize this just the other day. Mark and Haley Ray are my most recent employers back in Port Angeles. Over the time I worked for them they always made me feel at home, and have always embraced me for who I am. I was finishing up at work the other day, and they both came in as well as Zach to check on me. We got to talking and the next thing we knew it was two hours later, we had had a couple drinks, and Zach had been strumming his guitar the whole time. I just love people that are so chill, they make people feel good everywhere they go. They make people feel at home whenever they are around.

I realized this, and it made me aspire to be that way. Everyone loves what home feels like, I want to feel that way all the time, and spread it around.
Finding yourself is one of the most confusing and difficult things in anyone's life, and we are only making it harder for the people around us by judging and having a closed mind. We just have to accept people for who they are, realize their strengths and embrace them. I think making others feel good is one of the best ways to make yourself feel good as well. It's a start at least, ya know positivity is contagious.
It feels good that I know I have a few homes, and a whole lot of family. I have that here in Yakima, back in my hometown, with my co-workers, and I hope to create that in my new workplace (I just had an amazing job interview today, it's looking promising!). It all boils down to loving one another, no mater the circumstances, and you can feel at home everywhere you go, and that feels good.

Religion's roll in relationships

Yikes, I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into bringing up this topic, but it's something I've been thinking about recently and I think I just have to write it out.

*This is an article about my own experiences. I am in no way trying to disrespect anyone or anyone's beliefs, I simply would like to give you my perspective, and how religion has helped grow my relationship in my unique situation. Thanks xo:)

Religion. A scary word to some, and a comforting one to others. I myself have not gone to church my whole life. Growing up, I knew I was a Christian only because most of the people around me said they were Christian. Then when I hit about 14 years old, I really started to explore my curiosity in religion and Christianity. After a few months of following my friends to services and small group meetings with my peers, I learned that church may not be the best place to explore my faith, and my belief in what they were talking about. I kind of gave up on religion, saying that I believed in God, but I didn't go to church. I think I rejected the idea of going to church simply because I didn't understand anything being said or done there. It made me feel uncomfortable, and I wasn't used to it.

It wasn't until I met Zach years later that I started to think about religion again and what it meant to me. I had a bible, I read a lot of it, but I could only take the things written in it at face value; the words just written on the page. When I started dating Zach he made me re-evaluate what I believed love was. He opened my eyes to what a relationship should be, and how it should work. I can say he did the same thing for me in the area of religion. Zach has had a similar experience with religion as I have, but unlike me he is very open about his beliefs and how he feels about God and everything surrounding.

I think one of the main reasons mine and Zach's relationship is so strong is because when we first started dating and doing long distance, we took advantage of our one on one time and had a lot of deep heart to heart talks about anything and everything. One of those talks was about our faith. I felt comfortable enough to open up about my experience in the past. I remember him telling me to read my bible again, and try to think about him, our relationship, and what is happening in life when I do; it will help to try and "translate" the text in a sense, so it is more relatable to me and my life. And that is simply where I started, and when I started to read and discover the advice that the bible can give me, Zach and I began to share our favorite verses with each other and talk about what they mean to us. That helped me so me with my uncomfortableness surrounding the subject.

One thing leads to another, Zach and I have prayed together, read out bibles side by side, and even talked about finding a church to attend on Sundays. One thing led to another, and I've found some peace within myself knowing I have faith and God in my life, and that it can bond me closer with the love of my life. Now, I can open up my bible feeling any kind of emotion and find a verse that makes me feel at ease. It really is a beautiful thing.

If religion or even just beliefs are a touchy subject in your relationship and you want that aspect in your life, my best advice is to be open about it, a lot of times people who don't know a lot about religion are just confused about it, or not sure how to talk about it. When you haven't grown up in a church it can be an uncomfortable subject, but your job is to give never-ending love and understanding in your relationship. Being open and understanding of your sig. other is always the best route to take. Take it slow, and accept your person for who they are. 

Thank you so much for reading, xo  

Real Talk: moving in together

Recently my beloved brother and sister-in-law purchased their first home together and began their new life together as home owners. What an accomplishment! They've lived together before, but celebrating their new home inspired me to write a blog about moving in with your significant other for the first time.

Moving in together as a couple is one of the biggest milestones in a relationship, and it takes a lot of growing and planning until you are finally ready for that step. Zach and planned maybe 9 months ahead when we finally decided to move in together. Not only did we need to figure out our own living situations beforehand, but more so we had a lot of growing and learning to do. 

If I had one big piece of advise to give couples that want to move in together for the first time, I would say take it slow, very slow. Make sure you are going to be able to: 

• Keep your independence: make sure to have a girls' night every once and while. Yes, your man is the most important person in your life but make sure your girls always get the love they had before you moved in with him. You are a hot indepedent woman who don't need no man! But you can have both.
 • Accept his/her probably messy habits and embrace them: everyone gets lazy and doesn't want to take out trash, pick your battles wisely.

• Be okay with him popping with the door open, and peeing with each other in the room. 

• Be ready to not have as much alone time. I think one of the most unexpected issues that arise after that step is the alone time. Whether you're living alone or with roommates beforehand, you usually have s lot of time by yourself. Make sure to have a serious discussion with him/her so you can be open and honest when you need to just take some alone time.

I think a lot of people end up breaking up after moving in together because they rushed into it. It is 100% ok to say you're not ready for it. Living with your boyfriend means knowing exactly what he does at any given time of the day. Before you make the step, spend the weekend or maybe a week together at each of your places so you know exactly what you're hiding from each other (like Zach sleeping with his eyes open in a puddle of drool or me being absolutely obsessed with onions) before you make the choice permanent. It can be hard, and you will argue, but as long as you keep it light, share he workload around the house, and always remind each other how in love you are, you'll be just fine
 :) xo

Late Night Thoughts

I'm up late tonight, and having some random brain buzz. I would just like to share some thoughts with you, along with some more little facts about me. <3

My favorite moments lately are the ones where my loved one and I are lounging on our new  hand-me-down couch (whoop) and I look over at him and he looks back and grabs me and pulls me in.

My favorite time of day is right after the sun goes down, and it's dark but not quite all the way dark yet. And people are like living shadows and a little fuzzy but still there. Dusk. And in the summer it's the perfect temperature. It's enough to wear cutoffs but cool enough to need someone to cuddle up to.

Sometimes ya just gotta let jeep hair be jeep hair and have a good time.

Running through a big open field in the sunshine is one of the best forms of therapy.

There is absolutely no way you can really love another person if you don't love yourself first.

I wish there were puppy cafes where you can go and have your favorite latte and there's puppies running all over to cuddle.

Ha I’ve probably watched the whole How I Met Your Mother series 30 times through and I’m still not tired of it, and I love it.


You think the honeymoon phase of your relationship is the best thing ever, it gets even better.

I absolutely love my boss’ and co-workers like family and yes, it is the best thing ever.

I have a really good feeling that my 20’s are going to be the most bitter-sweet years of my life, and I cannot wait to see what they hold.

Please don’t base your self worth off of a number of likes or favorites.

Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint.

I would love to give getting into the modeling industry a try. I love the technique and art of modeling and photography and I think I'm pretty good in front of a camera, but I'm just terrified of the industry.



That reminds me, go check out samanthamcfarlen.com <3

I am everyone’s worst enemy when I am hangry. Zach just knows to drive me to the nearest Burger King when I start turning into a hangry biotch ha.

Kale rocks.

Always do what makes you happy, no matter what.

I have been so blown away with the support and kind words that have been sent my way about my blog. I really didn’t think anyone would read it, but hearing all the positivity really just makes my whole life and I’m so overjoyed! I am so relieved to be able to not only use this blog as an outlet, but also to improve anyone’s day in any way by the things that I say. So thanks for not judging me, you’re pretty much the best most beautiful person ever. <3<3

Goodnight, xo.